How to kill your mother in law

How to kill your mother in law

A long time ago in China , a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all.

Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting.

But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband! d great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-! law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it! Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs.

She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."

Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do."Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving.

Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you, when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. "Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen." Li-Li was so happy.

She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.

Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper!r, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in- law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.

Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She said, "Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her."

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her."

HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: "The person who loves others will also be loved in return." God might be trying to work in another person's life through you. Send this to your friends and spread the POWER OF LOVE.

Freindship Romantic Video Clip

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Biggest helicopter in the world

These are photographs of the worlds largest helicopter which happened to be on the tarmac in Dease Lake , B.C. this week. It is to be used for taking mining equipment and cargo out to a new mine called Galore Creek. It is owned by a Russian company. It is called the Utsky. The chopper couldn’t land at the air strip at Bob Quinn Lake because it wasn’t a paved area so it had to land in Dease Lake until the landing site north of Bob Quinn could be inspected. Apparently this chopper’s wash will pick up and fling rocks, up to 12 inches in diameter, around like leaves.

Stats supposedly: Russian crew of 6, 2 Pilots, 1 Navigator, 2 Engineers (mechanics), 1 cargo person- you can put 1 dump truck, 1 SUV in it a semi-trailer will fit in it.- carries 75 troops- uses 2000 litres of fuel per hour- 580 km range- costs $30,000/hr to rent - 40 metres long - 8 blades about 2 feet wide - probably bigger than ANYTHING seen at the Dease Lake Airport , including the terminal building

New Recruitment

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.

5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

500 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave.

498 people leave the room.

Kantibhai says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Kantibhai turns to the other candidate and says 'Kem Chho'

The other candidate answers 'Ek Dam Majama'

15 Pieces Of Advice For Woman

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.

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2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

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3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

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4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

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5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

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6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

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7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

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8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

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9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

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10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

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11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

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12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

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13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.

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14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

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15. Sadly, all men are created equal!

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I don't want to go to school

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.


MOM: "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."

SON: "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."


MOM: "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."

SON: "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."


MOM: "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."

SON: "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"
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MOM: "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school."

Cool Meanings and New Definitions in Life

Cool meanings

Love Humor? Click to join this group.

Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

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Love affairs:

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

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Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

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Divorce:

Future tense of marriage

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Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

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Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

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Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

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Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. .

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Dictionary:

A place where divorce comes before marriage.

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Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

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Ecstasy:

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

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Classic:

A book which people praise, but do not read.

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Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

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Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

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Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

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Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

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Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

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Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.

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Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.

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Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

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Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

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Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

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Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.

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Pessimist:

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

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Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

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Father:

A banker provided by nature.

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Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

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Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

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Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

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Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.